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Sometimes in researching history, we find people who we feel are ahead of their time, like they understood life as we know it today.
And then sometimes, there are others who did the best they could with what they knew...but from our perspective, it doesn't look very good at all.
Today's quote involves the latter, from Elder A. Theodore Tuttle's talk, "The Things That Matter Most":
The Quote
Dr. [Paul] Popenoe said,
“Our youth are not products of their own lives,
but of what their parents give them.
If we can get parents to set a good example,
we will take away
the greatest stumbling block between generations.”
Pretty innocuous - sounding, right? Parents, set a good example for your kids, and there's good things that come out of that. Who could disagree, right?
And then, I looked up the guy who (presumably) said it. Dr. Paul Popenoe -
Oh boy.
We've Got Another Eddie Cantor here...
Like I said in my blog about the reference to Eddie Cantor, sometimes we can look at someone from history and explore more of what they said or did, and use it as enrichment for our current lives.
And sometimes... just not.
You know, like how people can either, by their choices and examples, become shining examples or horrible warnings?
Meet My Grandparents
I have one grandmother who I loved with all my girlish heart - she was a great example to me of how to age gracefully. She always seemed happy and was glad to help others. She stayed active and interested in life, and she loved all of her grand-kids. I wanted to be like her. She created a future that I wanted to grow into.
My other set of grandparents stood out in stark contrast. They weren't interested in people, but stayed in their room, watching pro wrestling on TV, always insisting that it was real, when even as a small child, I wasn't buying it.
They grumbled and complained about everything. They seemed more angry than happy, and didn't take care of themselves physically. I didn't want to be anywhere near them, and felt like this could also be my future. One that I feared. They were half my DNA, and I wished I could cut them out of my life completely.
Of course, reality was much more nuanced than I was able to understand at eight years old, and I realized that as I grew older. The way I thought about my grandparents is how a lot of people think about history. If historical figures don't agree with us today, then they were terrible people and we should shut them out entirely of our experience, right?
Right?
Well, not fully.
Obviously, Dr. Paul Popenoe said the good thing that ended up in the Conference talk as gospel-compatible - at least, he's attributed here with saying it.. When I went to search for this quote in his existing works, I came across some very objectionable ideas I will not reprint here. Eugenics is a topic that is no longer looked upon with warmth and acceptance today, for very good reason.
Did Dr. Popenoe realize in the 1920s that his work in eugenics would help fuel the Nazi Holocaust and contribute to the deaths of millions upon millions of people the Nazis considered to be 'waste humanity' (his words)?
There's some evidence that he may have, sadly. I can't recommend any of his works as good or useful today, and I certainly won't be adding them to my reading list. Some lessons have been learned, and we can leave those works behind, except if we need to learn what not to do or think.
Again, do what you like with this information, but you've been warned.
But remember, few people are fully bad or fully good.
There's (Almost) Always Another Side to History
My grandmother that I loved also smoked and played cards, two aspects of her life that I can't emulate myself. Almost every kid she had came from a different father, because no one taught her anything about sex back then. I did the complete opposite of her in that area, even to the point of hosting a blog about sexuality for awhile with my hubby.
My grandparents that I thought were so horrible had one of the best and closest marriage relationships of anyone in either of their families. They played together as children, and married when they grew up. My grandfather looked like David Bowie when he was young, and had a work ethic that would have crushed lesser men. My grandmother loved her sons and protected them with the determination and strength of a junkyard bulldog - all very admirable traits.
We're all a mix of black and white and shades of gray, in the end.
Dr. Popenoe is, on the whole, one of those horrible historical warnings overall, as well as being my fifth cousin three times removed. Bleah.
He may have said some good things, and perhaps had some good intentions that went very wrong, not having the benefit of hindsight that I have in the era I live in. I'm content to let God figure out where he falls in the spectrum of good and bad, as I am with my grandparents.
One day history will judge me, and who knows what they'll know then, and how stupid I look to them. I would hope that future generations would judge me as mercifully as possible, and I'll try to do the same for the past.
That to me is another "stumbling block between generations" that we should probably keep an eye on, don't you think?
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